Hot Gossip
by Lia s'Ffalenn
Summary: Ashley and Joker pass time in the cockpit discussing the latest scuttlebutt to make the rounds. Shenko fluffiness.


"Hey, Joker. You mind if I sit up here for a while?"

The Normandy's pilot glanced across at Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams as she dropped into the left-hand co-pilot's chair.

"Not a problem, we've got a while before the next relay. So...what excuse did you invent for coming to gaze at my classic profile _this_ shift?"

Ashley rolled her eyes as he grinned slyly at her. Joker got on well with the Chief. She was direct and no-nonsense, but could still take a tease – in fact, she gave as good as she got.

"Sorry to burst your ego bubble, _sir_, but checking out your profile is a long way down my list of priorities. I came to review the weapons systems while the skipper's down in the hold with Vakarian and Wrex."

Joker nodded, careful to keep his expression bland. He was well aware of Ashley's prejudices where aliens were concerned, but wasn't especially worried about them being aboard the Normandy himself. As long as none of them tried to fly his ship for him. Dodging the conversational byway, he continued on his original tack.

"I never knew anyone quite so determined to know all the ways to blow stuff up as you, Williams. This really the first time you've served with the fleet?"

"Yup. And I'm betting as soon as this is over, the brass is gonna bounce me right back to ground duty. So I'm making the most of it."

Joker sat silently for a moment. Judging by the sudden bitterness in Ashley's voice, he'd come across a touchy subject, and the mood between them had abruptly changed from bantering to serious. He cast about for something encouraging to say.

"Y'know...for what it's worth, I think that Commander Shepard would fight your corner if they tried to transfer you."

Ashley screwed up her face thoughtfully before replying, "Well...maybe she would. She seems more worried about her people getting things done than...well, about other stuff. Even she's gotta take orders, though, right?"

"Yeah, but from who?" Joker snorted derisively. "Admiral Hackett likes to say she's still subject to Alliance command structure, usually when he wants something done. So far the Council hasn't objected to any of these little side trips, but if they decided she wasn't giving her Spectre duties enough priority..."

Ashley grimaced. "Ugh, politics again. I'm glad I'm not the skipper. Just give me a gun and point me at some geth."

Joker nodded in agreement. "I hear that. Except in my case it would be, you know, putting me in a cockpit with a mass accelerator cannon...obviously."

Why on earth was he babbling about comparative weaponry? He tried to get his thoughts back on track. _Making Ashley feel better...right._

"Uh...anyway, what I was trying to say was that despite all the political crap that comes with it, being the first human Spectre gives the Commander a lot of pull. And I don't think she'd be afraid to use it if someone tried to take any of the crew away from her, especially you guys on the ground team."

"Do you really think so?" Ashley sounded doubtful.

"Oh c'mon, Chief! I file the reports, and you've logged even more hours than Alenko. Which is saying something, by the way. If ever I came across a guy who needed to learn to relax..."

Ashley let out a short laugh, and Joker breathed a silent sigh of relief. Morale-building wasn't really his area of expertise, but if she was laughing then hopefully he'd gotten her off the sensitive subject and out of her sudden black mood. After a few moments, Ashley replied,

"He's a real good LT, but...yeah. Wound pretty tight. Although..."

Joker waited with interest as Ashley checked briefly over her shoulder. The Chief was – in his opinion – second only to himself in keeping an ear to the deck, and there was a certain unspoken competition between them as to who was most up to date on the rumour mill.

"You heard the latest scuttlebutt?"

Joker gave her a mock-offended look.

"Please, Williams. If there's scuttlebutt going around, I probably started it. Is this the rumour that our dear staff lieutenant has a thing for someone on the Normandy? That's old news."

"Ah, but have your oracular powers revealed to you the object of his affections?"

Joker frowned over at her. The look on Ashley's face was distinctly knowing. He briefly debated trying to bluff before giving up and admitting,

"Well...actually, I asked him, but he wouldn't tell me. Kept changing the subject. I think he suspects me of stirring gossip up in the first place."

Ashley quirked an eyebrow. "He probably has a point."

"Hey!" Joker held up his hands defensively. "I can be discreet when I need to be, but if he gets caught day-dreaming in the middle of the mess hall, then that's not _my_ fault. So...are you saying you've heard something new?"

"Oh, better than that. This is really good." Ashley grinned.

Joker huffed. "Okay Williams, you've counted coup. Spill it."

Ashley cocked her head at him, but couldn't bring herself to drag it out any further.

"You know that big viewport down in the Wards, where you can look out over all the arms? Well, we – the Commander, the LT and me, that is - were down there on our last supply run, taking in the view. Can't remember exactly how the conversation started, but we were discussing why the Council was dragging its collective ass on letting humans into the big galactic club, and..."

Ashley paused for breath, frowning as she tried to recall the scene.

"The skipper was joking that there was no reason for aliens not to like us. 'We have oceans, beautiful women, this emotion called love...', or something like that. And the LT said, 'Well, when you put it like that, there's no reason they wouldn't like _you_.' And _then_ he got all flustered and tried to explain he'd meant humanity in general."

Joker was temporarily speechless. When he recovered, he leant back in his chair and began to grin.

"No way. No freaking way. Alenko's got the hots for _Commander Shepard_?"

Ashley nodded. "Sure seems like it. And _she_ didn't seem all that bothered about it, either – she said that she appreciated the thought, but that we were on duty and should get back to it."

Joker rubbed speculatively at his fledgling beard. He had to admit that Commander Shepard wasn't exactly hard on the eyes. He'd heard somewhere that she had mixed Japanese and American heritage, which would account for her exotic looks – tip-tilted dark eyes, wide cheekbones and long black hair which she wore in a sort of topknot bun pulled severely away from her face. Not really his type, though – all zen-like calm, but with a disturbing undercurrent, like she was constantly appraising all the angles. He preferred women with a bit more spark, like–

Joker censored that thought and returned to the altogether safer area of speculating about Alenko's possible love interest. _Well...safer as long as they don't _catch_ us speculating._

"She's a cool customer, our Commander." he said thoughtfully. "Maybe she was just trying to make Alenko feel better about opening his mouth and sticking his foot in it."

Ashley didn't look convinced.

"Maybe. Or perhaps tall, dark and handsome with a tendency to stumble around women he's attracted to is her type." She grinned wickedly.

_So, she thinks Alenko's handsome, does she?_

"And what's your type, Chief?" he asked, trying to sound good-natured about it.

"Blond hair, big muscles and not declared off-limits by military regs." Ashley replied, with the kind of speed and reflex which meant she'd heard the question plenty of times before and could rattle off an answer without even having to think about it.

_Well, that's me told._

He was saved from having to think of an appropriate retort by a ping from the intercom, followed by Pressley's impatient voice.

"Flight, I've calculated the vectors for our arrival in the Athens system. Sending them to your console now."

"Acknowledged."

Joker tapped a couple of keys and squinted at the flow of data crossing his console. Ashley stretched and rose lithely out of the co-pilot's seat.

"Sounds like that's my cue to find somewhere else to be. Nice chatting with you, Joker."

"Uh...yeah. Right. You too, Chief." he replied distractedly.

She smiled at him and turned to walk back towards the CIC. Joker was halfway to twisting around in his seat to watch her leave before he realised what he was doing.

_Oh no. No, no, no. I was not about to turn around and check out her ass._

He snapped his head back around to his screen of navigational data, trying to ignore the rising heat he could feel creeping up his face. What the hell was it about this ship? One minute Alenko was going all dreamy-eyed over the commanding officer, the next minute _he_, Flight Lieutenant Moreau, was having to stop himself entertaining inappropriate thoughts about an enlisted marine. He definitely didn't want the kind of complications which came with being involved with someone in the same crew.

_Like that's the worst complication I've got to worry about._


End file.
